Friday, February 25, 2011

Mom's Day

Friday's have turned into my Mom's day.  She moved into a nursing home for the winter and needs transportation to the hairdresser on Fridays.  I suppose the nursing home would provide it or she could have the beautician who comes to the home do it.  But she also has other needs.  She usually has a list of "stuff" she needs from her house, so we spend time there.  She still has a vehicle there in the garage that needs to be run now and then.  (Already dealt with a dead battery once.)  

She now says she plans to stay in the nursing home, but can't quite come to a decision to dispose of the house, car and other possessions.  Watching her go through these difficult decisions and changes is partly responsible for my own musings on aging these days.  There are a lot of conflicting emotions involved in this role reversal too.  At first I struggled with anger and impatience at her decreasing functional and mental abilities.  Where did that come from?  I think it was just that I didn't want those things to be happening.  I still have an occasional flash of irritation when she can't recall something, resists my suggestions or complains about her health.  But I've learned to stifle it most of the time, and it's not about her personally.  It's about me and my need to adapt to the changes!  She's actually doing great at letting go of her independence.  I should do so well when it's my turn!

So today is our day, and I know she's stressing over her income taxes and bills.  She's finally agreed to set up automatic payments on her regular bills like the utilities for the house.  (I think she's missed some payments.)  I tried to get her to do that some time ago, so I now have to stifle my "I told you so" attitude.

Bottom line:  Who is going to put up with me and help me when I get there... and I'm next.  Yikes!

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